I am sitting, on my favorite chair trying to complete something in all of the many classes I decided to take for work. One son is playing the Xbox; the other is running around the house with his bestie. His bestie is the little girl who lives next door, Natalie. They giggle run around, play games and are just so stinkin' cute together. They became the best of friends as soon as we moved in.
Lucas and Natalie plop down side by side on the couch next to my chair. Next thing I know, I hear her telling Lucas, "You have it on your phone." They describe what the app looks like; its yellow, looks like a ghost. They struggle to find it, and I ask if they are talking about Snap Chat. YES! was the answer, followed up with "Can I get it?" Oh NO! I immediately text her mom, she is one of my besties. The test read "Does your kid Snap Chat?" Before there is a response, I hear the garage door open. It is Jackie, it her mom. She describes the parameters of allowing her to have it. No boys, only a few friends from school and her skate friends. My rule is that you just can't have it. I hate it! I constantly have students who are not responsible on social media and especially this app. They feel like they can put whatever they want on it with no consequence because it goes away after a little while. WRONG So do I really want my kids to use this app, NO. But this cute little blonde girl with these big blue eyes said "C'mon Ms. Michelle, you have it. I'll friend you too." One of her guidelines is that she can't friend boys, but yet she is going to friend Lucas. Her dad said, "Well it's just Lucas." They really are the best of friends. My rule was no Snap chat, and he was signed up. Tonight the children won, the adults were taken advantage of, go figure. They are lucky they are cute! :-)
2 Comments
This evening, I was ready for a different class I am taking. In one of the chapters, the author embodied what I am constantly thinking. They did it in just one page, not even an entire page. I guess that is why they have a book published and I don't! (LOL)
The notion is to remember that each child in your class belongs to someone. They are the child of someone who cares for them and means the world to them. The child may be the one in class who drives you the craziest, provokes their peers, or constantly needs reminders. However, they are the shining star with their parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc. Despite the challenges they may demonstrate in class, there are the most important people to their parents. I also think it is important to remember that many of our parents may or may not parent in the same way that you or I might. It doesn’t make it wrong, it just makes it different. Sometimes, it is hard to dig deep and remember that differences are just that, differences. My parenting style may not be what others would choose, but it works for my family. The same goes for the parents and students we work with, it may not be my preference, but it works for them. They may have different competing factors in their lives, such as economical, single parenthood, education level, etc. that force them to do things differently than we sometimes think they should. But in the end they still love their child and doing what they feel is best with the resources they have access to. We all work with a wide variety of students and family systems. I always keep in mind that when a parent comes in hot, or the parent that is tough to reach; their child is always their number one. They may have different ways to show that their child is their number one, but in the end the child is number one in their parents’ heart - ALWAYS. I wear glasses and it had been three years since my last exam. Unfortunately, I can tell that is was time to go back. When you need to squint really hard to see the giant RT 53 expressway sign... it’s time!
Going to the eye doctor feels like a game, except I never win! The first part is easy, just look at the little house in the machine while it reads your eyes. Okay easy enough. Then is that stupid puff of air to the eye, but once you know it’s coming your eyes instantly close. Why does that happen? Okay. Now on to the game. “Can you read any of the GIANT letters without squinting.” The answer is always “NO.” Now I’m getting anxious, like she is going to get frustrated that I can see the stupid letters. I remind myself, that his is her job. Deep breath So the game begins... Which is bettet 1 or 2, now A or B... repeated for what seems like an eternity. It is probably like five minutes. Then she hands me this little card to read. This is a new test, I haven't had this one before. It clicks in my head...this is for bifocals. OMG NO! After, I asked if I passed the bifocal test, she said it will be soon, but not yet. She explained that my left is worse, the astigmatism went up a level (whatever that means) and my right eye is only slightly worse. My response was, “so no bifocals?” So may have not won the war of any eyes getting worse, but I will say I conquered bifocals for today. I’ll take that as a win! My days consist of talking with students, teachers and parents about a wide variety of topics. I talk children and their parents through some of the tiniest of problems to others that are life altering. Despite the reason for the sadness, it can feel equally as painful no matter how big or small.
I help children identify ways to improve their problem solving skills, peer relationship, mental health disorders, family stressors, impulsive control and many more other things. There are times when I deal with more intensive issues like child or sexual abuse concerns. Everyday can be different, as much as I can plan out my day, it doesn't always go the way I thought it would. My day can change moment to moment, depending on the needs of the teachers, students and parents. I am grateful that I am here to help them in any way that I can. I have always felt that you may never know how you impact another person. That small interaction can become something great for the other person. I just hope that I have left a small positive impact on the children I have come across in my fifteen years as a school social worker. I may not always get feedback from my students as to how I have helped them. Some of the students are the most challenging in the building and I may have worked with them for years. Where others it may have been a much shorter time frame. But once in a while, I get a little reminder of just why I love what I do and it is usually a time when I need it the most. Driving home work, I call to remind the boys to be ready to leave when I get home. They need to change their clothes to be ready to go straight to basketball practice after Ryan’s private hitting lesson. I pull up in the driveway only go in the house long enough to change my clothes. To my surprise everyone is ready and waiting for me to leave.
Off we go! Once we are there, Ryan starts his lesson. I sit next to Luke who is trying to get comfortable on the bench seat. He squirms to stretch out his legs on the bench while leaning on me. That wasn't comfortable enough, so he then pulls his legs up to his chest, again re-adjusting. Nope, that didn't work either, so now he is sitting upright with his back to the back of the bench and his legs stretched out to the floor. Seeing that he still is seemingly uncomfortable, I ask if his bottom is cold on the metal bench. It is really cold in this field house, but he said no. Still fidgeting, I lean in to him and quietly whisper, "Are your underwear bothering you?" He thinks about it for a moment and replies with "Ummm, I think I forgot to put some on." So you have to wonder how does that happen? I'm certain I had a puzzled look and questioned are you for real? This boy just shrugged his shoulders and said "meh" as though it wasn't a big deal. All I could think of is the "Friends" episode with Phoebe's boyfriend and needing to put "the mouse back in the house". I had to explain to Luke why he couldn't sit with his legs up to his chest. The life lessons you never thought you would have to teach. :-) Oh, how these boys keep me smiling! ( I had Luca's permission to re-tell this story) Today, I had the pleasure of sitting in a first grade classroom. I don’t usually get the opportunity to just work out of a classroom. Usually, I am in a classroom observing a specific student or assisting with managing a behavioral problem. I can be in every classroom through the course of my day, I breeze in to pick students up or to drop them off.
That wasn’t the case for today. I know the stressors of being a teacher; I talk to teachers every day about their frustrations. We work together to make school an amazing place that is safe to learn and place for children to want to go every day. The tone and climate in this class is warm, kind and calm. The teacher is floats around the room to ensure she has greeted and welcomed each child into their classroom. The morning starts with a smooth transition to the carpet area, which I am certain has been practiced numerous times per day since the first day of school. Then the students read the morning letter from the teacher, take a moment to stretch their little bodies and minds with a few minutes of mindfulness. Then they very quietly, say good morning to two different classmates and safely, swiftly and quietly return to their seats. To an outsider, this looks so easy and simple. I can truly appreciate all the time, effort and countless times practicing each of those structures. Practicing how to move around the room for a transition, to listening with our eyes and ears, greeting someone politely and with a genuine care for our peers, it has taken almost eight months to make it “look” seamless. I know the effort this takes EVERYDAY to make this look seamless and continues to be practiced every day. Thank you to the teacher that I had the privilege to sit in her class today and to all of the other teachers who also put all they have into these shaping these little people’s lives. I know that these structures occur across our building and take, time dedicate and a love for children. Yet, they all do it with ease as though it just magically happens. Sometimes, you never know the impact that you have on people, but please know teachers you have made a tremendous impact on every student that crosses the threshold of your doorways. I wish my everyday could start like it did this morning in this class. Thank you for having me. I am in the bathroom getting ready for work. The hair dryer is trying to work its magic and I am in the middle of my thoughts. That's when my mom quietly knocks on the door. She doesn't want to wake the sleeping 10 year old is knocked out in my bed right behind her.
She walks in and says "I know this probably isn't the best time, but what's wrong with me?" I am utterly confused and try to read her body language and understand where this is coming from. Then she explains that she has not yet cried, like the big ugly kind of cry. Her mother died two weeks ago. With a reassuring smile, I simply said "there is absolutely nothing wrong with you." I explained that it will hit her at different times and places. There is no predicting when or how that works, it just happens when it does. She had been preparing for her passing for the past several months. So she didn't realize that she was already grieving before my grandma left us. Each step in the preparation process for her passing, from looking at readings for the church down to picking out each piece of jewelry grandma would wear to her grave, was all part of her grieving. My mom is just a daughter who is sad that her mom has died. Yet, she is also at peace knowing her mom is no longer in pain and is with my grandfather, sharing eternal happiness. Grief doesn't just happen once, is a process that is never ending and evolves with us over time. I always grew up with animals, you name it we had it! They were a staple in my childhood home and we were never with out a couple of something.
Then I had children and they wanted a puppy. I said no, especially while I was still wiping baby bottoms. Well then the boys were about 4 and 5 and they asked again. I said no. I was still wiping bottoms, there was no puppy training in my near future. Lucas is also very allergic to dogs, so that help make the decision making easier. He is also allergic to cats, 3 tree nuts, peanuts, casein (dairy), eggs and mice (we found that out by accident). So really pets are really hard to come by in our family home. We have had several geckos, fish and a pet mouse. Not ideal pets but they worked for us. Around the ages 8 and 9, they asked again. I said no. I know, THE.MEANEST.MOM.EVER, right? But this time, Luke looked at me with those amazing brown eyes..."Mommy, I just want a pet that I can snuggle and love ALL. THE. TIME." Well, that got me. I said yes. He also agreed to pick up all of the poop and Ryan said he would give her food and water everyday. I searched and searched for hypoallergenic dogs. I wanted to make sure we found the perfect fit to our family. We did, she was in a liter of four puppies. We hand picked her. Dakota is her name and she is no more than 8 pounds soaking wet. She is small and full of love, hugs and kisses. Needless to say, I am still waiting for her to be fed and given water and the poop to be picked up. It has been three years. I love her to pieces, her personality is amazing. She gives us more than we could ever give her. Thank you Dakota. It’s Sunday and I have the entire day ahead of me. I am laying in bed snuggling my youngest. We are watching some foolish show that is making both of us laugh. Ryan is playing video games, but periodically comes up to check in on us.
I love that that they will check in when they aren’t by me. The house is a disaster, the clean clothes are in stacks but not put away, there are sports equipment and shoes at every entrance to my house. With so much to do in my house, I should be focused on straightening and cleaning. However, don’t even care if any of that gets touched today. My priority for this Sunday is just being with my guys. I love when I can make breakfast for Ryan. He is so kind and knows that I make scrabbled eggs better than sunny side up eggs, which he likes better. But still accepts my scrambled eggs with a smile and a thank you. I do make breakfast for Lucas too, but I’m lucky to get him to eat anything. He is a snacker. We are planning a bike ride this afternoon, after hitting practice. Even if that doesn’t happen it will be time spent together. It isn’t often that I get to spend the day from start to finish with them. I love when we have the entire day together. No beter way to spend a day! Sometimes the days go so fast. It feels like just days ago that my 10 and 12 year old boys were 1 and 2. I often think that I only have eight more years with them. Just eight short years they will be going off to college. Time just needs to slow down so I can enjoy every second.
I love the little moments when my boys and I are doing something together. Tonight was monopoly on Xbox One. There was no arguing just fun. It warms my heart when we have a good time. My favorite is when belly laughs erupt from both of them for the silliest of things. It's the little things like belly laughs, hugs , kisses and smiles. Sometimes, it is when I get home from work and they run from outside playing or wherever they are in the house to great me with a hug, kiss and ask how my day was. I don't think it can get any better than this. Sometimes, it is the little things that leave the biggest impact. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |